Oops!

We have all come across a situation when our child will one day spill something and it go all over the place and cause a mess. Now it doesn't matter how much of a mess, sometimes we just look at it and a part of us freezes inside and can't help but start to judge, 'Oh how clumsy of them', 'If only they'd watch what they were doing', 'I don't need this right now'

Even the most patient person in the world can get like this and guess what, its completely natural! We are not all perfect and this is something that parents tend to give themselves a hard time over because, just like all the rest of us, we want the best for our children. This is why I chose to write this entry today, not just to reassure those of you worriers out there but also to share with you an invaluable piece of advice i have recently heard.

This child I refer to can be a toddler or they can be in their teenage years, either way the same rule applies, to rediscover the term 'Oops!'. Now i know how it might initially sound but don't judge, instead lets discover the underlying messages that this simple saying can convey to the child. First off we are showing the child that we are aware of the error they have made and also seeing it as a natural thing that happens and simply cannot be avoided. We only have to look at ourselves to understand that. How often have we knocked into something or someone in the street when our mind was wandering, or realized we left the house without checking we had all the essential (keys, money, phone). These are all mistakes and are there to remind us that this is essentially what they are, 'mistakes'.

Now talking from my own personal experience, I have come across times in my life when i have also made the odd 'mistake' here or there and even before I've even made them there was always someone there telling me how to avoid it before it happened, which brings me onto the next point.

If you want to further reassure your child that this is just a natural consequence that occurs we can then turn to them and say something along the lines of  'Hmm what do you think we need to do to clean this up?'. By saying this we can help the child not only to think for themselves how to best solve this 'problem' but also we are helping them to train themselves to know what to do if a situation like this occurs again.

Lets just look at it from another viewpoint. Lets say they spill something and instead of reacting calmly and understanding we let our emotions get the better of us and react. This can be either through our body language, tone of voice or what we say. We are then only making the young child scared of what they think they are incapable of controlling. If we then go and deal with the 'problem' ourselves this will be giving the child the message that any problem they come across they will end up having to rely on others to sort it out.

While i fully understand that this calm approach cannot be used in every situation e.g crossing the road, i do believe that if we want our children to grow up into independent adults then these situations would be a great opportunity for them to start to practice and learn how to be self-reliant human beings.

Dr. Hamilton Demonstrates "The Hold" - How To Calm A Crying Baby

When I saw this video I thought that this would be a life-saver for parents nerves.  It's so simple, it's ridiculous how it's not common knowledge.

So you new or experienced parents out there, here it is for you to use.

Happy Learning!

How to tell your children about a terrorist attack

What with the events that took place in Paris, i thought an article explaining how to explain the situation to children would be useful for those of you that wish to.

On Friday night, my home city of Paris, France, suffered the worst terrorist attack in its history. Our family had gone to bed early that night, and so realization dawned slowly, mostly as I saw a deluge of texts, emails, and tweets from American friends asking if I was okay. I groggily pulled up Twitter, pulled up my news feeds, and the news gradually entered my consciousness, in all its multifaceted horror.

Soon our daughter woke up. My wife and I believe in telling children the truth, so we would have to tell her what happened.

But how?

Sadly, these days, any parent in any world city might find themselves forced to have this discussion with their children. After some reflection and some online reading, here are some thoughts on how to tell your kids about a terrorist attack.

The first thing is to be collected and pulled together. If you're too overwhelmed, then just wait a few hours before telling them.

Secondly, you do have to tell them. They will find out — from the TV, from friends at school, from headlines in the news kiosks on the streets, and so forth. You need to be their earliest source of information.

And finally, I would say, tell them the truth.

We in the modern West are very scared of death, and afraid of mentioning it, particularly in front of children. Nothing is more natural than death, and children are perfectly equipped to understand it — as long as it is presented matter-of-factly. For most of human history, children encountered death routinely, whether via relatives or animals on the farm. Same with evil. Your children will encounter evil one day. Better for them to be prepared by you, and to be prepared honestly.

So tell them. I would say the most important guideline is to be concrete — children, like grown-ups, respond best to facts, rather than abstractions. Keep things matter-of-fact, but don't get into details. To be concrete is also to keep things simple. Yes, people have died. Yes, those people were killed by other people. What's a terrorist? A terrorist is someone who kills to create fear. No need to get into geopolitics, that can wait.

Be patient. Let them process. They need time to rephrase things in their own words and to reframe them in their own way. Let them speak, which is a way for them to work things out. There's no need to rush.

And then, you'll want to reassure them. Again, the key thing is to be concrete. "Nothing will ever happen to you" is vague (and not necessarily true). But you can give them concrete information, about every reason why they are safe: The odds of anyone being victim of a terrorist attack are extremely low, the police are working very hard to catch the bad guys, and so on. Children think first of the concrete realities around them: their family, their home, school, and so forth. Those are the things you need to reassure them about. Kids do need to feel safe, and honesty is the best way to do that.

And finally: Don't panic. Kids are always smarter than we give them credit for. And they are also extremely resilient. We are the ones who idealize them by pretending that they are pristine little angels who will be damaged by any contact with reality. Your children are more mature than you give them credit for, more capable of handling life and reality.

So trust them with the truth.

This article was written by Pascal-Emmanuel Gobry who is a writer and fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy

http://theweek.com/articles/589111/how-tell-children-about-terrorist-attack

8 Everyday Items to Support Toddler Independence

Here is an a blog entry i came across on the website montessorirocks.com and thought it may be of interest to those of you that want to encourage their toddler's independence at home.

Happy Learning!

In just a couple of months, my son will be turning 2-years-old. As a parent, I am sure you can relate to the magnitude of emotions this brings. A parent, in reference to children growing up, surely must have coined the term “bittersweet.” Parenting is, without a doubt, the most incredible journey of constant learning, stretching, bending and growing.

This past year, I have witnessed the phrase “help me do it myself” come to life. My son truly thrives when he is able to do the tasks he sees me do every day. He also enjoys playing the role of my “big helper.”

When it comes to things in the home, I am someone who believes “less is more,” however, I have come to find these eight items to be extremely helpful in assisting my toddler on his quest for independence.  Now, don’t feel like you need to run out and buy any one of these to achieve the same results… There is certainly room for creative interpretation!

1. Fold-Up Stool

My kiddo has been using this stool as part of his everyday exploration since he was a 1-year-old. With it, he can help himself to kitchen drawers (don’t worry, they are all “safe” for exploring), turn the light switches on or off, grab a book off one of our higher bookshelves and so much more. It’s so fun to watch him use his stool to explore new heights!  It’s even light enough for him to fold up and carry from room to room, which he often enjoys doing!

Activity Suggestion: Have a designated junk drawer specifically for your child that’s always refreshed and ready for exploring! Remember to follow the child and connect the items back to their interests. It is important to make this a safe activity for your child, but adding some adult tools and items would be okay too. Some suggested items: cut-out coupons, a key ring with keys, photos, small containers with lids, card sets and even crayons.

2.  Learning Tower 

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen creating real, nutrient-dense foods.  The Learning Tower allows my son to be right there in the action, safely!  He helps me do everything from the dishes to meal creation.  While up at the counter level, he works alongside me and helps snap the ends of green beans, de-stem kale, and throw sweet potatoes in the food processor.  I have noticed recently that he is even more excited to eat the food that he has had a hand in creating.  Imagine that!

3.  Pouring Pitcher

Do I dare say that my son is a master at pouring? He loves it!  Almost daily, we set up a pouring practice station using this pitcher, a teapot, a variety of different sized cups and sometimes a funnel or two.  While in deep concentration, he carefully pours one to another, and takes a sip here and there.  This is truly an awesome fine motor activity and practical life skill that has allowed him to gain more independence. He also enjoys other independent activities such as watering the houseplants, feeding and giving water to the dogs and dumping his potty into the toilet.  

4.  Table and Chairs 

I love having a table and chair set in our kitchen that is fit for his size.  We use this for snack time, arts and crafts, putting together puzzles and so much more.  It is really rewarding to see him use this space on his own terms.  He’s able to pull out the chair, climb up and sit down without any assistance needed.  He is becoming more independent by doing this on his own!

5.  Pumpkin Knife & Wavy Chopper 

Children are always watching and absorbing our actions.  I learned early on that my son has a thing for cutting his own food.  He knows he can’t have sharp knives, which makes him want them all the more!  Cutting, like many other fine motor skills, takes practice.  With a dull knife and/or wavy chopper, we incorporated soft foods first (such as bananas and avocados) when learning to cut foods. Now we practice with a variety of textured foods such as homemade banana bread, cheese and cucumbers.  These tools have certainly been a gift that allows him to safely play an active role in preparing his snacks and meals.

6.  Dust, Sweep & Mop Set

I often joke that my son is a better cleaner than me!  He loves to take a wet rag and wipe down his table, the floors and walls, and even give our dogs a little face wash. This set has been helpful in allowing him to get even more involved in the care of our home environment. He sweeps up his messes, and then grabs the dustpan and eagerly dumps dust into the compost.  Who said cleaning can’t be fun and educational?

Activity Suggestion:  At the child-sized table, consider setting up a station with a cutting board, banana and a dull knife.  Make sure to model for your child the proper way to cut the banana. Then pass the knife and allow for practice while under your observation.  Having them clean up with the dust, sweep and mop set when they are finished is another way to practice caring for their environment.

7.  Garden Tool Set

Two of my son’s chores are watering our houseplants and helping in the garden.  This is another great activity to practice caring for the environment. He takes great pride by slowly carrying the watering can to the plants; carefully pouring the water and even watching the water sink into the dirt. He’s even become quite attached to the plants as he often kisses the leaves before walking away (Ahh- sweetest thing, ever)! I’m excited for spring to come so he can start playing and digging in the dirt!

8.   Jumbo Wooden Puzzle Sets 

These jumbo wooden puzzle sets have taught my son patience. At first, he would get so frustrated that he would throw the pieces when he couldn’t get them to fit in the right spot. After witnessing this a few times, I began to immerse myself in the process by trying to complete the puzzle set myself and asking him for help. In his “helper” role, he would show such greater depths of patience. Now, he will easily complete the puzzle and patiently work to get each piece in!

Being a role model for my child and allowing him to be more independent has certainly been helpful. Not only are household chores being completed, but my child is also gaining the confidence and patience while completing them. Whether you are the “perfect” Montessori mom or not, we all know that sharing our ideas and practices can help others help their children on the path to independence- one step at a time!

If you are looking for the perfect Montessori additions to your home, consider checking out Montessori Rocks! Marketplace for all of our Montessori product recommendations, including must-read books!

Share with me! How do you encourage independence for your child at home?

Tonya Holcomb has a true passion for natural parenting and the infusion of Montessori principles and attachment parenting. She dreams of one day (soon!) opening a nature-based Montessori school in her community. As a Holistic Health Coach and real foodie, she works to help guide busy moms towards their most nourished and balanced selves. Through her health coaching programs, she specializes in helping moms achieve desired weight-loss goals and adopt natural living through all aspects of life. Tonya is a true example of a busy, entrepreneurial spirited wife and mother who always makes time for her health! Get to know her at LikeMindedMamas.com

Will a Montessori Education Prepare My Child for the “Real World”?

This article is for all those people who have found themselves asking this question all the time. Hope you enjoy it

This is a common question I hear as I meet with prospective parents and take them on a tour through our community at The New School Montessori.

This is a difficult question to answer considering the “real world” is a relative term.  Do they mean the “real world” of professional pressures, deadlines, and aggressive competition? Or do they mean the “real world” of emotional intelligence, engaged citizenry, compassion, joy, and relationship to one’s environment?  If I were to be honest with myself, I’m pretty sure they’re asking about the former – the “real world” of work.  Fortunately, no matter which version of the “real world” they are referring to, my answer is the same, a resounding “Yes!”

Multi-age classrooms and emphasis on time management prepare in “real world” ways.

For those of you who are not familiar with Montessori education let me briefly explain that it is a philosophy and pedagogy based on the scientific research of Dr. Maria Montessori. Children are grouped in multi-aged classrooms, where students are engaged in hands-on, self-paced, collaborative work. Multi-aged classrooms allow older students to be leaders and mentors while providing opportunities for younger students to work with older classmates on group projects.  In addition, Montessori teachers do not stand in front of a class giving lectures while asking students to work on the same thing, at the same time, in the same way.  Rather, they walk throughout the classroom working one-on-one with students or in small groups.  At the core of the Montessori philosophy is the belief that all students have a natural desire to learn, explore, and joyfully work toward independence through knowledge and discipline.

Now, keeping all of that in mind, I want you to ask yourself:

• In any “real world” job, is everyone the same age?
• Are workers all sitting at their desks working on the same thing at the same time?
• Do workers often need to access memorized facts in a timed setting?  Of course not.

In a “real world” job, one is expected to be able to work with people at different levels of experience, work well independently and in a group, set up work, concentrate on it, keep it organized, complete it, and put it away.  Workers need to try things to see if they work and then learn from their mistakes. They need to be able to problem solve and to communicate effectively.

The top five types of knowledge and skills employers are looking for in the 21stCentury were listed by a Gallup poll in this order and are all skills deeply embedded in the Montessori method: 

• Critical thinking and problem solving,
• information technology application,
• teamwork and collaboration,
• creativity and innovation,
• and diversity training.

Montessori education has been proven to prepare children for the “real world.”

An article titled “Montessori Mafia” in the Wall Street Journal by Peter Sims, author ofLittle Bets: How Breakthrough Ideas Emerge from Small Discoveries, states,

“The Montessori educational approach might be the surest route to joining the creative elite, which are so overrepresented by [Montessori] alumni that one might suspect a Montessori Mafia: Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, videogame pioneer Will Wright, and Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales.”

Sims didn’t mention other famous Montessori innovators like Julia Child, Katherine Graham (Pulitzer Prize winning author), Gabriel Garcia Marquez (winner of the Nobel Prize for literature), Yo-Yo Ma (cellist and winner of 15 Grammy Awards), George Clooney (Academy Award winning actor), Helen Keller (who is considered one of the most widely admired people of the 20th Century), and the list goes on.

In 2004 Barbara Walters interviewed Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, and asked them if having college professors as parents was the major factor behind their success. Page stated that more influential than having professorial parents was the fact that, “ We both went to Montessori school, and I think it was part of the training…being self-motivated, questioning what’s going on in the world, doing things a bit differently.”

In the popular magazine Science, Angeline Lillard published a study comparing the educational achievement performance of low-income Milwaukee children who attended Montessori preschools versus children attending a variety of other traditional preschools determined by lottery. Lehrer found that by the end of kindergarten, “Montessori students proved to be significantly better prepared for elementary school in reading and math skills than the non-Montessori children. They also tested better on “executive function,” the ability to adapt to changing and more complex problems, an indicator of future school and life success.” 

What about Montessori at a high school level? Clark Montessori (a Cincinnati public Montessori school) provided these results of their 88 graduates in 2010:  100% graduation rate.  100% of the graduates went to college.  33% were first generation in their families to attend college, and 33% came from families in need of free or reduced lunches.

So yes, a Montessori education will prepare your child for the “real world” of 21stCentury employment.  But here’s the added bonus; a Montessori education will also prepare your children for the “real world” of life, learning skills like how to: 

• resolve conflicts peacefully.
• build a relationship between themselves and their environment.
• remain curious and a life long learner.
• treat others with kindness and respect.
• be more interested in the joy of discovery than the value of a grade or paycheck.
  • reflect and know how to celebrate their individuality while at the same time knowing how to sacrifice their own desires for the benefit of the whole.

These values have deep roots in Montessori education, and it just so happens they are also what prepare us for how to live fully in the “real world” of life.

So, will a Montessori education prepare your child for the “real world?”

Yes it will.

Jeff Groh

A Montessori education for high school years

This is another interesting article i came across from the website http://www.examiner.com/ explaining how the Montessori curriculum can be applied to children aged 15-18

I wrote recently of the unique perspective Maria Montessori had about education during the middle school years. But what about the high school years?

Here, Montessori believed in more serious academics, but with much real-world experience.

Montessori expert Michael Olaf says of the years 15-18:

"For age fifteen to eighteen, when the rapid growth of adolescence is slowing, a more rigorous intellectual schedule works, combined with social work and apprenticeships in the work world."

Maria Montessori herself greatly disapproved of the way high schools were run. She wrote:

The need that is so keenly felt for a reform of secondary schools concerns not only an educational, but also a human and social problem. Schools, as they are today, are adapted neither to the needs of adolescents nor to the times in which we live...

But above all it is the education of adolescents that is important, because adolescence is the time when the child enters on the state of adulthood and becomes a member of society. If puberty is, on the physical side, a transition from an infantile to an adult state, there is also, on the psychological side, a transition from the child to the adult who has to live in society. These two needs of the adolescent: for protection during the time of the difficult physical transition, and for an understanding of the society which he is about to enter to play his part as an adult, give rise to two problems that are of equal importance concerning education at this age.

Montessori believed that the needs of the high school student were moral development, intellectual studies, real work experience and preparation for life.

Real work is an important learning tool during the high school years, but Olaf points out that most jobs for teenagers offer little in terms of education. He suggests unpaid apprenticeships:

It is time-consuming to take an untrained person in and share the work, and often, because of the lack of training and the short hours, having an apprentice is more of an expense than a help to a business. Young people should be aware of this and look for what they can offer or learn, instead of what they can get in the way of salary. Apprenticeships are not paid positions, but they can be extremely beneficial to the students, and sometimes open up important job possibilities in the future.

Olaf also points out the importance of teaching teens to use their money and their employment in a responsible manner. He quotes Kenneth Woodward, who wrote of the problem of how teen employment in modern times prolongs adolescence and sets teenagers up to fail in adulthood:

By the ‘80’s, three out of four high-school seniors were working an average of 18 hours a week and often taking home more than $200 a month. But their jobs, often in fast-food chains, were rarely challenging and earnings were immediately spent on cars, clothing, stereos and other artifacts of the adolescent good life. Indeed, researchers at the University of Michigan find that less than 11 percent of high-school seniors save all or most of their earnings for college or other long-range purposes.

In short, teenage employment has only intensified the adolescent drive for immediate gratification. Instead of learning how to delay desires, students are indulging what University of Michigan researcher Jerome Bachman calls "premature affluence." The problem, says Bachman, is that these adolescents tend to get accustomed to an unrealistic level of discretionary income which is impossible to maintain at college, unless they have extravagant parents. "And if they don’t go to school," he observes, "they will have to continue to live at home if they hope to keep up their personal spending habits."

Therefore, a homeschool Montessori education for the high school years would typically contain these elements:

• Taking part in planning the budget of the home
• Community service and volunteer time for moral development
• Apprenticeships for educational work experience
• Learning through real-world experience and interaction with experts in various fields
• In depth independent study

Montessori high schools often require students to perform a certain number of community service hours and write theses. As in younger years, there is not an emphasis on tests or grades but instead on mastery of subjects before moving on.

Other elements of the Montessori education would also continue, such as interest-led studies, maintaining a natural environment, hands-on learning, healthy eating, helping teach younger children and participating in real-world skills such as cooking, gardening, homemaking and building.

Maria Montessori herself had this to say about how to truly educate teenagers:

And how far, we may ask, does it take one to hold a degree these days? Can one be sure of even earning a living? ...And how do we explain this lack of confidence? The reason is that these young men have spent years in listening to words and listening does not make a man. Only practical work and experience lead the young to maturity.

My vision of the future is no longer of people taking exams and proceeding on that certification from the secondary school to the university, but of individuals passing from one stage of independence to a higher, by means of their own activity, through their own effort of will, which constitutes the inner evolution of the individual.

In short, a homeschool Montessori education in high school attempts to prepare teenagers academically, vocationally, morally, financially and emotionally for a successful life. In an age when high school is increasingly treated as nothing but four years of college preparation, this can be a a critical difference for the ultimate success of our children.

How To Make Your Kids Smarter: 10 Steps Backed By Science

This article along with many other articles i have come across not so much mentions Montessori but gives us very helpful pointers on aspects of our children's lives we must pay more attention to and help to blossom.

I’ve explored the science behind what makes kids happier, what type of parenting works best and what makes for joyful families.

But what makes children — from babies up through the teen years — smarter?

Here are 10 things science says can help:

1) Music Lessons

Plain and simple: research show music lessons make kids smarter:

Compared with children in the control groups, children in the music groups exhibited greater increases in full-scale IQ. The effect was relatively small, but it generalized across IQ subtests, index scores, and a standardized measure of academic achievement.

In fact musical training helps everyone, young and old:

A growing body of research finds musical training gives students learning advantages in the classroom. Now a Northwestern University study finds musical training can benefit Grandma, too, by offsetting some of the deleterious effects of aging.

2) The Dumb Jock Is A Myth

Dumb jocks are dumb because they spend more time on the field than in the library. But what if you make sure your child devotes time to both?

Being in good shape increases your ability to learn. After exercise people pick up new vocabulary words 20% faster.

Via Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain:

Indeed, in a 2007 study of humans, German researchers found that people learn vocabulary words 20 percent faster following exercise than they did before exercise, and that the rate of learning correlated directly with levels of BDNF.

A 3 month exercise regimen increased bloodflow to the part of the brain focused on memory and learning by 30%.

Via Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain:

In his study, Small put a group of volunteers on a three-month exercise regimen and then took pictures of their brains… What he saw was that the capillary volume in the memory area of the hippocampus increased by 30 percent, a truly remarkable change.

3) Don’t Read To Your Kids, Read With Them

Got a little one who is learning to read? Don’t let them just stare at the pictures in a book while you do all the reading.
Call attention to the words. Read with them, not to them.Research shows it helps build their reading skills:

…when shared book reading is enriched with explicit attention to the development of children’s reading skills and strategies, then shared book reading is an effective vehicle for promoting the early literacy ability even of disadvantaged children.

4) Sleep Deprivation Makes Kids Stupid

Missing an hour of sleep turns a sixth grader’s brain into that of a fourth grader.

Via NurtureShock:

“A loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to [the loss of] two years of cognitive maturation and development,” Sadeh explained.

There is a correlation between grades and average amount of sleep.

Via NurtureShock:

Teens who received A’s averaged about fifteen more minutes sleep than the B students, who in turn averaged fifteen more minutes than the C’s, and so on. Wahlstrom’s data was an almost perfect replication of results from an earlier study of over 3,000 Rhode Island high schoolers by Brown’s Carskadon. Certainly, these are averages, but the consistency of the two studies stands out. Every fifteen minutes counts.

5) IQ Isn’t Worth Much Without Self-Discipline

Self-discipline beats IQ at predicting who will be successful in life.

From Charles Duhigg’s excellent book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business:

Dozens of studies show that willpower is the single most important keystone habit for individual success… Students who exerted high levels of willpower were more likely to earn higher grades in their classes and gain admission into more selective schools. They had fewer absences and spent less time watching television and more hours on homework. “Highly self-disciplined adolescents outperformed their more impulsive peers on every academic-performance variable,” the researchers wrote. “Self-discipline predicted academic performance more robustly than did IQ. Self-discipline also predicted which students would improve their grades over the course of the school year, whereas IQ did not.… Self-discipline has a bigger effect on academic performance than does intellectual talent.”

Grades have more to do with conscientiousness than raw smarts.

Via How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character:

…conscientiousness was the trait that best predicted workplace success. What intrigues Roberts about conscientiousness is that it predicts so many outcomes that go far beyond the workplace. People high in conscientiousness get better grades in school and college; they commit fewer crimes; and they stay married longer. They live longer – and not just because they smoke and drink less. They have fewer strokes, lower blood pressure, and a lower incidence of Alzheimer’s disease.

Who does best in life? Kids with grit.

Via Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.

The best predictor of success, the researchers found, was the prospective cadets’ ratings on a noncognitive, nonphysical trait known as “grit”—defined as “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.”

6) Learning Is An Active Process

Baby Einstein and braintraining games don’t work.
In fact, there’s reason to believe they make kids dumber.

Via Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five:

The products didn’t work at all. They had no positive effect on the vocabularies of the target audience, infants 17-24 months. Some did actual harm. For every hour per day the children spent watching certain baby DVD’s and videos, the infants understood an average of six to eight fewer words than infants who did not watch them.

Real learning isn’t passive, it’s active.

What does Dan Coyle, author of The Talent Code recommend? Stop merely reading and test yourself:

Our brains evolved to learn by doing things, not by hearing about them. This is one of the reasons that, for a lot of skills, it’s much better to spend about two thirds of your time testing yourself on it rather than absorbing it. There’s a rule of two thirds. If you want to, say, memorize a passage, it’s better to spend 30 percent of your time reading it, and the other 70 percent of your time testing yourself on that knowledge.

7) Treats Can Be A Good Thing — At The Right Time

Overall, it would be better if kids ate healthy all the time. Research shows eating makes a difference in children’s grades:

Everybody knows you should eat breakfast the day of a big test. High-carb, high-fiber, slow-digesting foods like oatmeal are best, research shows. But what you eat a week in advance matters, too. When 16 college students were tested on attention and thinking speed, then fed a five-day high-fat, low-carb diet heavy on meat, eggs, cheese and cream and tested again, their performance declined.

There are always exceptions. No kid eats healthy all the time. But the irony is that kids often get “bad” foods at the wrong time.
Research shows caffeine and sugar can be brain boosters:

Caffeine and glucose can have beneficial effects on cognitive performance… Since these areas have been related to the sustained attention and working memory processes, results would suggest that combined caffeine and glucose could increase the efficiency of the attentional system.

They’re also potent rewards kids love.

So if kids are going to occasionally eat candy and soda maybe it’s better to give it to them while they study then when they’re relaxing.

8) Happy Kids = Successful Kids

Happier kids are more likely to turn into successful, accomplished adults.

Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:

…happiness is a tremendous advantage in a world that emphasizes performance. On average, happy people are more successful than unhappy people at both work and love. They get better performance reviews, have more prestigious jobs, and earn higher salaries. They are more likely to get married, and once married, they are more satisfied with their marriage.

And what’s the first step in creating happier kids? Being a happy parent.

9) Peer Group Matters

Your genetics and the genetics of your partner have a huge effect on your kids. But the way you raise your kids?
Not nearly as much.

Via Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference:

On things like measures of intellectual ability and certain aspects of personality, the biological children are fairly similar to their parents. For the adopted kids, however, the results are downright strange. Their scores have nothing whatsoever in common with their adoptive parents: these children are no more similar in their personality or intellectual skills to the people who raised them, fed them, clothed them, read to them, taught them, and loved them for sixteen years than they are to any two adults taken at random off the street.

So what does have an enormous affect on your children’s behavior? Their peer group.

We usually only talk about peer pressure when it’s a negative but more often than not, it’s a positive.

Living in a nice neighborhood, going to solid schools and making sure your children hang out with good kids can make a huge difference.

What’s the easiest way for a college student to improve their GPA? Pick a smart roommate.

Via The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work:

One study of Dartmouth College students by economist Bruce Sacerdote illustrates how powerful this influence is. He found that when students with low grade-point averages simply began rooming with higher-scoring students, their grade-point averages increased. These students, according to the researchers, “appeared to infect each other with good and bad study habits—such that a roommate with a high grade-point average would drag upward the G.P.A. of his lower-scoring roommate.”

10) Believe In Them

Believing your kid is smarter than average makes a difference.

When teachers were told certain kids were sharper, those kids did better — even though the kids were selected at random.

Via The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science:

…Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson (1968) did the same study in a classroom, telling elementary school teachers that they had certain students in their class who were “academic spurters.” In fact, these students were selected at random. Absolutely nothing else was done by the researchers to single out these children. Yet by the end of the school year, 30 percent of the the children arbitrarily named as spurters had gained an average of 22 IQ points, and almost all had gained at least 10 IQ points.

Sum Up

1. Music Lessons
2. The Dumb Jock Is A Myth
3. Don’t Read To Your Kids, Read With Them
4. Sleep Deprivation Makes Kids Stupid
5. IQ Isn’t Worth Much Without Self-Discipline
6. Learning Is An Active Process
7. Treats Can Be a Good Thing — At The Right Time
8. Happy Kids = Successful Kids
9. Peer Group Matters
10. Believe In Them

One final note: Intelligence isn’t everything. Without ethics and empathy really smart people can be scary.

As P.J. O’Rourke once said:

Smart people don’t start many bar fights. But stupid people don’t build many hydrogen bombs.